


And you said,"as long as I'm here.."

by malibuclover



Category: Avatar: The Last Airbender
Genre: Angst, Bittersweet Ending, F/M, Feels, One Shot, Season Finale, they talk it out in a way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:26:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23391694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malibuclover/pseuds/malibuclover
Summary: “Mai forgave me. About the Boiling Rock.  She wants to start again with me. A clean slate,a new beginning. This is good for us.”We never had a new beginning, Katara screamed.
Relationships: Katara/Zuko
Comments: 6
Kudos: 47





	And you said,"as long as I'm here.."

Glittering orange skies deepened into a purple canvas. Pink fluffy clouds freckled across the horizon.The sun was setting already,painting the great wall of Ba Sing Se black. The lower rings slowly faded into nothing,brown huts and narrow streets disappearing. Emerald tiled roofs of middle ring lost their shine. Finally, the darkness reached the upper ring,robbing the gold mansions of their shimmer. A message from the heavens went unsaid; in the shadow of the night,all succumb to its power.

Katara couldn’t get rid of that thought.Rather ominous,especially after their victory over the Hundred-years war. The Avatar defeated the Fire Lord, singlehandedly brought back peace and ridding Fire Nation’s main drive for war. Iroh along with White Lotus,defended Ba Sing Se and succeeded though Lower rings would likely undergo major renovations. Sokka,Toph and Suki handled the air forces, herding the air balloons together and blowing them up. Zuko and her....

_Don’t think of that._

She was not a masochist; she wouldn’t relive the terror of Agni Kai ever. If she could help it, she will never play it inside her mind.Mind-numbing seconds of Zuko not breathing and looming dragon-like beast whispering in her ear that he will not wake up..

_Stop it,you are supposed to be celebrating._

Then why does winning the war taste so ashy? She was supposed to be jubilant;she would return to her home with Sokka and dad tomorrow. She could see Gran Gran again.Maybe in a few months,she would accompany Aang to Southern Air Temple,assess the damage done and call willing and able earthbenders for reconstruction. If Toph couldn’t resolve issues with her parents,she would tag along. She was officially Aang’s girlfriend;the kiss ensured it. 

The kiss itself was sweet,shy and full of promises;she wasn’t sure she could keep them all. How Aang looked at her after the kiss;hot,heavy guilt wrung and twisted inside her. He poured his heart out thrice, her heart didn’t belong to him to return the gesture. She hated the fact she couldn’t and had to find a way for it or else...

“Hey.”

That voice she could recognize anywhere.Her peripheral vision to the left told her a tall figure in red ensemble had taken residence next to her at the balcony;at this point her sight was not informative. She could feel his presence and always had; before him joining them,before Ba Sing Se.

“Hey yourself.”

Her calm voice hid the raging conflict inside her. As soon as she learned how to walk, her manner of solving issues was to grab the bull by its horns. Until now, it worked out for her. She wasn’t sure what to grab onto except her slipping collectedness. 

“Sokka wants to hang his latest masterpiece and everyone is yelling at him not to.”

Humor bled into his deep raspy tone. It was a rare treat like a mooncake for the Moon festival. She could count the number of times he allowed himself that on one hand. She glanced sideways; his mouth in a wry smile and his eyes glazed. The image burned inside her memory.

“Like that will convince his pigheaded majesty with the whole gang against him.” 

She was elated that they were all together no longer divided by anything. Ty Lee integrated right into the gang’s conversation, Mai hesitantly following her. Not five minutes after, she seated herself right next to Zuko and didn’t move anywhere since. She found it easier when they all ganged up against Zuko for his previous hairstyles,her barbed sarcasm enlightening Toph and Sokka. Before Katara left for Aang,she caught pieces of Toph and Mai complaining about their neglectful and overbearing parents and Ty Lee enthusiastically going over chi-blocking moves to Suki.

“Uncle is on his side and guess that means we are both related to poor souls with even poorer taste.” 

That eased a laugh out of her and his small chuckle followed later. He twisted his body towards her not stepping forward nor backwards. His inquisitive eyes asked her where his lips didn’t:you are ok?

She answered that with a sharp turn back to the evening sky although a small agreement escaped her mouth. She heard a heavy sigh not being let out. This reminded her too much of a impending wind storm back at the South Pole, where everything stilled before it lashed out.

His hesitant voice cut through the silence.

“Everything is so different. People want me on the Fire Lord’s seat and many more don’t. I am learning to deal with all of them and somedays I think I can and somedays I am not so sure. I want to fix my nation’s mistakes but it can’t happen overnight and people are expecting it to. Others think it’s a mistake to fix them. I am happy but...”

Katara has to strain her ears the entire time. He monologued softly as if he was letting himself acknowledge it for the first time. She would let him as long as he needed to.

“But I need to ground myself. Uncle will be my side the entire time and..”

_I need something, _ **someone**_ else._

Something in Katara’s chest stupidly flared up. 

“Mai forgave me. About the Boiling Rock. She wants to start again with me. A clean slate,a new beginning. This is good for us.” 

_We never had a new beginning,_ Katara screamed. 

That treacherous thing twisted her heart and turned it into lead. Her breath lodged itself at her throat and her eyes started to burn. Her fingers twitched like flames were trying to jump out at the tips. Zuko noticed it. 

_Of course he did._

Not two heartbeats later,warm arms engulfed her and a hand cradled the back of her head. She let herself lean onto him; her face against his broad shoulders and her arms coming around his waist. She let the fire from him seeped into her;it was her salvation and ruination. The burn was relishing and left her with nothing but ash. She willing touched the flames knowing it would scar her.There was no other way she wanted it. 

There were moments when she felt glowing embers with him and not the flames. Stolen glances when he was instructing Aang,noting how he looked like a born leader. She recalled how he would come by the makeshift kitchen to help with the dishes while the rest tried to make up for their stolen childhoods with their little games. After Yon-Rha, a part of her was dying and the rest tried to trudge her back to Appa’s saddle. Zuko guided her and remained by her side. That night when she was ready to talk, he listened her with no judgement and the floodgates inside her bursted open. She cried herself hoarse then he tucked her into bed. A bitter voice that sounded like Hama screeched her that it was all for nothing. No fruit was bore other than her own heart breaking. 

“I’m sorry.” 

_What did he say?_

Then it dawned on her. All those moments, all the vulnerable conversations between them were opportunities within their grasp but neither took them. She could lie to herself that they didn’t have the time but she would have tried regardless and prevailed. They both would have. She could tell his mind was in a similar place as hers. It was all their fault and none. 

“Me too.” 

Their bodies were pressed closed together but both felt a chasm beneath their feet. It pulled them apart further and further away. 

_He was right.Everything has changed._

“It won’t work.” 

_I have Mai and the nation._

“I know.” 

_I have Aang and my career._

He pulled her back to meet her gaze. His honey eyes saw right through her and so did she with him. 

“Aang kissed me.Probably he is gonna ask me to go to Southern Air temple with him to rebuild it.” 

__

His eyes hardened and his lip thinned for a split second. His face returned to a blank state and remained silent for awhile. 

“He is good for you.” 

“So is she.” 

“We lucked out on partners, didn’t we?” 

A giggle escaped her. Her knight in shining armor, doing whatever it took for her to smile. 

“We did.” 

They stayed like that. A gentle breeze from the west made them sway like leaves on a vine. She felt his heartbeat flutter before he spoke. 

“Will you and Aang write to me? I am going to get bored stuck in a palace and every adventure counts at this point. I will pen back to you as well.” 

_We still are friends,right?_

If he wanted to continue this charade,so would she. They both desperately needed it. 

“Don’t expect them to be on time. We will write as much as we can.” 

_I just need time to heal._

“No rush. Take your time. I doubt I can respond to all your letters.” 

_So do I._

**Author's Note:**

> hey, this is my first fic posted here and thanks for checking it out. Feel free to leave kudos and comments if you liked it.
> 
> If anyone was wondering lol, i was listening to Billie Eilish and the idea just came to me. The plot is not related to the song context wise but their mood are kind of similar. The song is "everything i wanted".


End file.
